This is the letter written by Editor Mumbai (Times of India)
Dear Mr. Prime minister
I am a typical mouse from Mumbai. In the local train compartment which has capacity of 100 persons, I travel with 500 more mouse. Mouse at least squeak but we don't even do that.
Today I heard your speech. In which you said 'NO BODY WOULD BE SPARED'. I would like to remind you that fourteen years has passed since serial bomb blast in Mumbai took place. Dawood was the main conspirator. Till today he is not caught. All our bolywood actors, our builders, our Gutka king meets him but your Government can not catch him. Reason is simple; all your ministers are hand in glove with him. If any attempt is made to catch him everybody will be exposed. Your statement 'NOBODY WOULD BE SPARED' is nothing but a cruel joke on this unfortunate people of India .
Enough is enough. As such after seeing terrorist attack carried out by about a dozen young boys I realize that if same thing continues days are not away when terrorist will attack by air, destroy our nuclear reactor and there will be one more Hiroshima .
We the people are left with only one mantra. Womb to Bomb to Tomb. You promised Mumbaikar Shanghai what you have given us is Jalianwala Baug.
Today only your home minister resigned. What took you so long to kick out this joker? Only reason was that he was loyal to Gandhi family. Loyalty to Gandhi family is more important than blood of innocent people, isn't it?
I am born and bought up in Mumbai for last fifty eight years. Believe me corruption in Maharashtra is worse than that in Bihar . Look at all the politician, Sharad Pawar, Chagan Bhujbal, Narayan Rane, Bal Thackray , Gopinath Munde, Raj Thackray, Vilasrao Deshmukh all are rolling in money. Vilasrao Deshmukh is one of the worst Chief minister I have seen. His only business is to increase the FSI every other day, make money and send it to Delhi so Congress can fight next election. Now the clown has found new way and will increase FSI for fisherman so they can build concrete house right on sea shore. Next time terrorist can comfortably live in those house , enjoy the beauty of sea and then attack the Mumbai at their will.
Recently I had to purchase house in Mumbai. I met about two dozen builders. Everybody wanted about 30% in black. A common person like me knows this and with all your intelligent agency & CBI you and your finance minister are not aware of it.. Where all the black money goes? To the underworld isn't it? Our politicians take help of these goondas to vacate people by force. I myself was victim of it. If you have time please come to me, I will tell you everything.
If this has been land of fools, idiots then I would not have ever cared to write you this letter. Just see the tragedy, on one side we are reaching moon, people are so intelligent and on other side you politician has converted nectar into deadly poison. I am everything Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Schedule caste, OBC, Muslim OBC, Christian Schedule caste, Creamy Schedule caste only what I am not is INDIAN. You politician have raped every part of mother India by your policy of divide and rule.
Take example of former president Abdul Kalam. Such a intelligent person, such a fine human being. You politician didn't even spare him. Your party along with opposition joined the hands, because politician feels they are supreme and there is no place for good person.
Dear Mr Prime minister you are one of the most intelligent person, most learned person. Just wake up, be a real SARDAR. First and foremost expose all selfish politician. Ask Swiss bank to give name of all Indian account holder. Give reins of CBI to independent agency. Let them find wolf among us.. There will be political upheaval but that will better than dance of death which we are witnessing every day. Just give us ambient where we can work honestly and without fear. Let there be rule of law. Everything else will be taken care of.
Choice is yours Mr. Prime Minister. Do you want to be lead by one person or you want to lead the nation of 100 Crore people?
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
The 10 Commandments
If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!
Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!
Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like
expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian. Think about it.
When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart,
When tears flows from your eyes always say these words
Eh Ganpat, chal daru la
Don't walk as if you rule the world,
walk as if you don't care who rules the world!
That's called Attitude! Keep on rocking!
Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did
and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!
He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair.
When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
They said, he who never lived, cannot die!
A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?
He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!
All desirable things in life are either
illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!
Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di???
10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.
Which makes it a logical statement that
90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!
Piyo Sar Utha Ke!
Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!
Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like
expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian. Think about it.
When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart,
When tears flows from your eyes always say these words
Eh Ganpat, chal daru la
Don't walk as if you rule the world,
walk as if you don't care who rules the world!
That's called Attitude! Keep on rocking!
Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did
and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!
He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair.
When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
They said, he who never lived, cannot die!
A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?
He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!
All desirable things in life are either
illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!
Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di???
10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.
Which makes it a logical statement that
90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!
Piyo Sar Utha Ke!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Best Retirement plan
If you had purchased $1,000 of AIG stock one year ago, you would have $42 left.
With Lehman, you would have $6.60 left.
With Fannie or Freddie, you would have less than $5 left.
But if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have had$214.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
With Lehman, you would have $6.60 left.
With Fannie or Freddie, you would have less than $5 left.
But if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have had$214.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
The Great Indian Politics !!
Here is a classic example of what Indian politicians do to get the votes (which they may not get even after doing this).In the whole process how the the talented people from the upper caste get affected. Now only GOD can save the country from these people.....
It's an awesome interview, please read whole of it, you will really enjoy and know how politicians in India work and on what parameters (or practically no parameters) they take decisions.
Karan Thapar: Do you personally also, as Minister of Human Resource Development, believe that a reservation is the right and proper way to help the OBCs?
Arjun Singh: Certainly, that is one of the most important ways to do it.
Karan Thapar: The right way?
Arjun Singh: Also the right way.
Karan Thapar: In which case, let's ask a few basic questions; we are talking about the reservations for the OBCs in particular. Do you know what percentage of the Indian population is OBC? Mandal puts it at 52 per cent, the National Sample Survey Organization at 32 per cent, the National Family and Health Survey at 29.8 per cent, which is the correct figure?
Arjun Singh: I think that should be decided by people who are more knowledgeable. But the point is that the OBCs form a fairly sizeable percentage of our population.
Karan Thapar: No doubt, but the reason why it is important to know 'what percentage' they form is that if you are going to have reservations for them, then you must know what percentage of the population they are, otherwise you don't know whether they are already adequately catered in higher educational institutions or not.
Arjun Singh: That is obvious - they are not.
Karan Thapar: Why is it obvious?
Arjun Singh: Obvious because it is something which we all see.
Karan Thapar: Except for the fact that the NSSO, which is a government appointed body, has actually in its research in 1999 - which is the most latest research shown - that 23.5 per cent of all university seats are already with the OBCs. And that is just 8.5 per cent less than what the NSSO believes is the OBC share of the population. So, for a difference of 8 per cent, would reservations be the right way of making up the difference?
Arjun Singh: I wouldn't like to go behind all this because, as I said, Parliament has taken a view and it has taken a decision, I am a servant of Parliament and I will only implement.
Karan Thapar: Absolutely, Parliament has taken a view, I grant it. But what people question is the simple fact - Is there a need for reservations? If you don't know what percentage of the country is OBC, and if furthermore, the NSSO is correct in pointing out that already 23.5 per cent of the college seats are with the OBC, then you don't have a case in terms of need.
Arjun Singh: College seats, I don't know.
Karan Thapar: According to the NSSO - which is a government appointed body - 23.5 per cent of the college seats are already with the OBCs.
Arjun Singh: What do you mean by college seats?
Karan Thapar: University seats, seats of higher education.
Arjun Singh: Well, I don't know I have not come across that far.
Karan Thapar: So, when critics say to you that you don't have a case for reservation in terms of need, what do you say to them?
Arjun Singh: I have said what I had to say and the point is that it is not an issue for us to now debate.
Karan Thapar: You mean the chapter is now closed?
Arjun Singh: The decision has been taken.
Karan Thapar: Regardless of whether there is a need or not, the decision is taken and it is a closed chapter.
Arjun Singh: So far as I can see, it is a closed chapter and that is why I have to implement what all Parliaments have said.
Karan Thapar: Minister, it is not just in terms of 'need' that your critics question the decision to have reservation for OBCs in higher education. More importantly, they question whether reservations themselves are efficacious and can work.For example, a study done by the IITs themselves shows that 50 per cent of the IIT seats for the SCs and STs remain vacant and for the remaining 50 per cent, 25 per cent are the candidates, who even after six years fail to get their degrees. So, clearly, in their case, reservations are not working.
Arjun Singh: I would only say that on this issue, it would not be correct to go by all these figures that have been paraded.
Karan Thapar: You mean the IIT figures themselves could be dubious?
Arjun Singh: Not dubious, but I think that is not the last word.
Karan Thapar: All right, maybe the IIT may not be the last word, let me then quote to you the report of the Parliamentary Committee on the welfare for the Scheduled Castes and Scheduled Tribes - that is a Parliamentary body.It says that looking at the Delhi University, between 1995 and 2000; just half the seats for under-graduates at the Scheduled Castes level and just one-third of the seats for under-graduates at the Scheduled Tribes level were filled. All the others went empty, unfilled. So, again, even in Delhi University, reservations are not working.
Arjun Singh: If they are not working, it does not mean that for that reason we don't need them. There must be some other reason why they are not working and that can be certainly probed and examined. But to say that for this reason, 'no reservations need to be done' is not correct.
Karan Thapar: Fifty years after the reservations were made, statistics show, according to The Hindustan Times, that overall in India, only 16 per cent of the places in higher education is occupied by SCs and STs. The quota is 22.5 per cent, which means that only two-thirds of the quota is occupied. One third is going waste, it is being denied to other people.
Arjun Singh: As I said, the kinds of figures that have been brought out, in my perception, do not reflect the realities. Realities are something much more and of course, there is an element of prejudice also.
Karan Thapar: But these are figures that come from a Parliamentary Committee. It can't be prejudiced; they are your own colleagues.
Arjun Singh: Parliamentary Committee has given the figures, but as to why this has not happened, that is a different matter.
Karan Thapar: I put it to you that you don't have a case for reservations in terms of need; you don't have a case for reservations in terms of their efficacy, why then,are you insisting on extending them to the OBCs?
Arjun Singh: I don't want to use that word, but I think that your argument is basically fallacious.
Karan Thapar: But it is based on all the facts available in the public domain.
Arjun Singh: Those are facts that need to be gone into with more care. What lies behind those facts, why this has not happened, that is also a fact.
Karan Thapar: Let's approach the issue of reservations differently in that case. Reservations mean that a lesser-qualified candidate gets preference over a more qualified candidate, solely because in this case, he or she happens to be an OBC. In other words, the upper castes are being penalized for being upper caste.
Arjun Singh: Nobody is being penalized and that is a factor that we are trying to address. I think that the prime Minister will be talking to all the political parties and will be putting forward a formula, which will see that nobody is being penalized.
Karan Thapar: I want very much to talk about that formula, but before we come to talk about how you are going to address concerns, let me point one other corollary - Reservations also gives preference and favor to caste over merit. Is that acceptable in a modern society?
Arjun Singh: I don't think the perceptions of modern society fit India entirely.
Karan Thapar: You mean India is not a modern society and therefore can't claim to be treated as one?
Arjun Singh: It is emerging as a modern society, but the parameters of a modern society do not apply to large sections of the people in this country.
Now take a moment to congratulate Karan Thapar for skillfully exposing Arjun Singh for the clueless dolt he is.
The video of this interview is available on YouTube. If you liked reading a part of the interview, you will definitely enjoy the rest of it!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Little Hearts !!!!
This is a good Initiative please spread the message..so that little heart can keep beating free of cost.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
LALBAUG GANPATI VISARJAN
See the human see at the visarjan....
GANPATI BAPPA MORRYAAAA ..Pudchya varshi lavkar ya ...
GANPATI BAPPA MORRYAAAA ..Pudchya varshi lavkar ya ...
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Small Story...
Two friends were walking through the desert during some point of the journey they had an argument and one friend slapped the other one on the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:
"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME ON THE FACE."
They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:
"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE."
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?" .The other friend replied "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.
"LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE!!!”
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.
"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME ON THE FACE."
They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:
"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE."
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?" .The other friend replied "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.
"LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE!!!”
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Inaugural Speech for the new batch at the Symbiosis BBA program, Pune -- By Chetan Bhagat
23rd June, 2008
Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.
Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.
I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?
Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.
To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.
Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.
Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born.. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that.
I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.
There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.
You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.
One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.
I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.
Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be.
Disappointment's cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan – I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.
Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.
Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.
There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.
I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today.. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.
Thank You!
Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.
Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.
I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?
Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.
To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.
Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.
Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born.. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that.
I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.
There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.
You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.
One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.
I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.
Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be.
Disappointment's cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan – I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.
Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.
Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.
There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.
I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today.. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.
Thank You!
Friday, July 18, 2008
Untold truth: A myth called Indian Programmer
Are we (Indian software professionals) just thousands of caterpillars who keep climbing a wall, the height of which they don't know. They clamber over each other, fall, start again, but keep climbing. They don't know that they can eventually fly!!!
Read the following article from Times of India -------
They are the poster boys of matrimonial classifieds. They are paid handsomely, perceived to be intelligent and travel abroad frequently. Single-handedly, they brought purpose to the otherwise sleepy city of Bangalore.
Indian software engineers are today the face of a third-world rebellion. But what exactly do they do? That's a disturbing question. Last week, during the annual fair of the software industry's apex body Nasscom, no one uttered a word about India's programmers.
The event, which brought together software professionals from around the world, used up all its 29 sessions to discuss prospects to improve the performance of software companies. Panels chose to debate extensively on subjects like managing innovation, business growth and multiple geographies.
But there was nothing on programmers, who you would imagine are the driving force behind the success of the Indian software companies. Perhaps you imagined wrong. "It is an explosive truth that local software companies won't accept.
Most software professionals in India are not programmers, they are mere coders," says a senior executive from a global consultancy firm, who has helped Nasscom in researching its industry reports.
In industry parlance, coders are akin to smart assembly line workers as opposed to programmers who are plant engineers. Programmers are the brains, the glorious visionaries who create things. Large software programmes that often run into billions of lines are designed and developed by a handful of programmers.
Coders follow instructions to write, evaluate and test small components of the large program. As a computer science student in IIT Mumbai puts it if programming requires a post graduate level of knowledge of complex algorithms and programming methods, coding requires only high school knowledge of the subject.
Coding is also the grime job. It is repetitive and monotonous. Coders know that. They feel stuck in their jobs. They have fallen into the trap of the software hype and now realise that though their status is glorified in the society, intellectually they are stranded.
Companies do not offer them stock options anymore and their salaries are not growing at the spectacular rates at which they did a few years ago.
"There is nothing new to learn from the job I am doing in Pune. I could have done it with some training even after passing high school," says a 25-year-old who joined Infosys after finishing his engineering course in Nagpur.
A Microsoft analyst says, "Like our manufacturing industry, the Indian software industry is largely a process driven one. That should speak for the fact that we still don't have a domestic software product like Yahoo or Google to use in our daily lives."
IIT graduates have consciously shunned India's best known companies like Infosys and TCS, though they offered very attractive salaries. Last year, from IIT Powai, the top three Indian IT companies got just 10 students out of the 574 who passed out.
The best computer science students prefer to join companies like Google and Trilogy. Krishna Prasad from the College of Engineering, Guindy, Chennai, who did not bite Infosys' offer, says, "The entrance test to join TCS is a joke compared to the one in Trilogy. That speaks of what the Indian firms are looking for."
A senior TCS executive, who requested anonymity, admitted that the perception of coders is changing even within the company. It is a gloomy outlook. He believes it has a lot to do with business dynamics.
The executive, a programmer for two decades, says that in the late '70s and early '80s, software drew a motley set of professionals from all kinds of fields.
In the mid-'90s, as onsite projects increased dramatically, software companies started picking all the engineers they could as the US authorities granted visas only to graduates who had four years of education after high school.
"After Y2K, as American companies discovered India's cheap software professionals, the demand for engineers shot up," the executive says. Most of these engineers were coders. They were almost identical workers who sat long hours to write line after line of codes, or test a fraction of a programme.
They did not complain because their pay and perks were good. Now, the demand for coding has diminished, and there is a churning.
Over the years, due to the improved communication networks and increased reliability of Indian firms, projects that required a worker to be at a client's site, say in America, are dwindling in number. And with it the need for engineers who have four years of education after high school.
Graduates from non-professional courses, companies know, can do the engineer's job equally well. Also, over the years, as Indian companies have already coded for many common applications like banking, insurance and accounting, they have created libraries of code which they reuse.
Top software companies have now started recruiting science graduates who will be trained alongside engineers and deployed in the same projects. The CEO of India's largest software company TCS, S Ramadorai, had earlier explained, "The core programming still requires technical skills.
But, there are other jobs we found that can be done by graduates." NIIT's Arvind Thakur says, "We have always maintained that it is the aptitude and not qualifications that is vital for programming. In fact, there are cases where graduate programmers have done better than the ones from the engineering stream."
Software engineers are increasingly getting dejected. Sachin Rao, one of the coders stuck in the routine of a job that does not excite him anymore, has been toying with the idea of moving out of Infosys but cannot find a different kind of "break", given his coding experience.
He sums up his plight by vaguely recollecting a story in which thousands of caterpillars keep climbing a wall, the height of which they don't know. They clamber over each other, fall, start again, but keep climbing. They don't know that they can eventually fly.
Rao cannot remember how the story ends but feels the coders of India today are like the caterpillars who plod their way through while there are more spectacular ways of reaching the various destinations of life.
Think ‘bout it!!!
Read the following article from Times of India -------
They are the poster boys of matrimonial classifieds. They are paid handsomely, perceived to be intelligent and travel abroad frequently. Single-handedly, they brought purpose to the otherwise sleepy city of Bangalore.
Indian software engineers are today the face of a third-world rebellion. But what exactly do they do? That's a disturbing question. Last week, during the annual fair of the software industry's apex body Nasscom, no one uttered a word about India's programmers.
The event, which brought together software professionals from around the world, used up all its 29 sessions to discuss prospects to improve the performance of software companies. Panels chose to debate extensively on subjects like managing innovation, business growth and multiple geographies.
But there was nothing on programmers, who you would imagine are the driving force behind the success of the Indian software companies. Perhaps you imagined wrong. "It is an explosive truth that local software companies won't accept.
Most software professionals in India are not programmers, they are mere coders," says a senior executive from a global consultancy firm, who has helped Nasscom in researching its industry reports.
In industry parlance, coders are akin to smart assembly line workers as opposed to programmers who are plant engineers. Programmers are the brains, the glorious visionaries who create things. Large software programmes that often run into billions of lines are designed and developed by a handful of programmers.
Coders follow instructions to write, evaluate and test small components of the large program. As a computer science student in IIT Mumbai puts it if programming requires a post graduate level of knowledge of complex algorithms and programming methods, coding requires only high school knowledge of the subject.
Coding is also the grime job. It is repetitive and monotonous. Coders know that. They feel stuck in their jobs. They have fallen into the trap of the software hype and now realise that though their status is glorified in the society, intellectually they are stranded.
Companies do not offer them stock options anymore and their salaries are not growing at the spectacular rates at which they did a few years ago.
"There is nothing new to learn from the job I am doing in Pune. I could have done it with some training even after passing high school," says a 25-year-old who joined Infosys after finishing his engineering course in Nagpur.
A Microsoft analyst says, "Like our manufacturing industry, the Indian software industry is largely a process driven one. That should speak for the fact that we still don't have a domestic software product like Yahoo or Google to use in our daily lives."
IIT graduates have consciously shunned India's best known companies like Infosys and TCS, though they offered very attractive salaries. Last year, from IIT Powai, the top three Indian IT companies got just 10 students out of the 574 who passed out.
The best computer science students prefer to join companies like Google and Trilogy. Krishna Prasad from the College of Engineering, Guindy, Chennai, who did not bite Infosys' offer, says, "The entrance test to join TCS is a joke compared to the one in Trilogy. That speaks of what the Indian firms are looking for."
A senior TCS executive, who requested anonymity, admitted that the perception of coders is changing even within the company. It is a gloomy outlook. He believes it has a lot to do with business dynamics.
The executive, a programmer for two decades, says that in the late '70s and early '80s, software drew a motley set of professionals from all kinds of fields.
In the mid-'90s, as onsite projects increased dramatically, software companies started picking all the engineers they could as the US authorities granted visas only to graduates who had four years of education after high school.
"After Y2K, as American companies discovered India's cheap software professionals, the demand for engineers shot up," the executive says. Most of these engineers were coders. They were almost identical workers who sat long hours to write line after line of codes, or test a fraction of a programme.
They did not complain because their pay and perks were good. Now, the demand for coding has diminished, and there is a churning.
Over the years, due to the improved communication networks and increased reliability of Indian firms, projects that required a worker to be at a client's site, say in America, are dwindling in number. And with it the need for engineers who have four years of education after high school.
Graduates from non-professional courses, companies know, can do the engineer's job equally well. Also, over the years, as Indian companies have already coded for many common applications like banking, insurance and accounting, they have created libraries of code which they reuse.
Top software companies have now started recruiting science graduates who will be trained alongside engineers and deployed in the same projects. The CEO of India's largest software company TCS, S Ramadorai, had earlier explained, "The core programming still requires technical skills.
But, there are other jobs we found that can be done by graduates." NIIT's Arvind Thakur says, "We have always maintained that it is the aptitude and not qualifications that is vital for programming. In fact, there are cases where graduate programmers have done better than the ones from the engineering stream."
Software engineers are increasingly getting dejected. Sachin Rao, one of the coders stuck in the routine of a job that does not excite him anymore, has been toying with the idea of moving out of Infosys but cannot find a different kind of "break", given his coding experience.
He sums up his plight by vaguely recollecting a story in which thousands of caterpillars keep climbing a wall, the height of which they don't know. They clamber over each other, fall, start again, but keep climbing. They don't know that they can eventually fly.
Rao cannot remember how the story ends but feels the coders of India today are like the caterpillars who plod their way through while there are more spectacular ways of reaching the various destinations of life.
Think ‘bout it!!!
AD WARS 2
Checkout this Real Billboard in Mumbai — First there was Jet Airways, then Kingfisher responded to Jet Airways by putting up their own Billboard and then it was GoAir which responded to both.
AD WARS
READ TEXT FIRST
I trust you will find this amusing....
Some information that you need to know before you see the Ads:-
1. BMW started this Advertisement
2. Audi Answered
3. Subaru needed to say something
4. Bentley Chairman wanted the last word
I trust you will find this amusing....
Some information that you need to know before you see the Ads:-
1. BMW started this Advertisement
2. Audi Answered
3. Subaru needed to say something
4. Bentley Chairman wanted the last word
Monday, July 14, 2008
JK Rowling address at Harvard
Check this it's really good:
http://webonly.harvardmagazine.com/159-Rowling.mp3
http://harvardmagazine.com/go/jkrowling.html
My Stupid Suicide Plan -CHETAN BHAGAT
Last week, an IITian committed suicide. People who commit suicide do it when they feel there's no future. But wait, isn't
I can rant about the educational system and how it requires serious fixing, or I can address the immediate-try my best to prevent such suicides. For this column I have chosen the latter, and I do so with a personal story.
News of a suicide always brings back one particular childhood memory. I was 14 years old when I first seriously contemplated suicide. I had done badly in chemistry in the Class X half yearly exam. I was an
Ironically, chemistry offered a way. I had read about copper sulphate, and that it was both cheap and poisonous. Copper sulphate was available at the kirana store. I had it all worked out.
My rationale for killing myself was simple-nobody loved me, my chemistry score was awful, I had no future and what difference would it make to the world if I was not there. I bought the copper sulphate for two rupees-probably the cheapest exit strategy in the world. I didn't do it for two reasons. One, I had a casual chat with the aunty next door about copper sulphate, and my knowledgeable aunty knew about a woman who had died that way. She said it was the most painful death possible, all your veins burst and you suffer for hours. This tale made my insides shudder. Second, on the day I was to do it, I noticed a street dog outside my house being teased by the neighborhood kids as he hunted for scraps of food. Nobody loved him. It would make no difference to the world if the dog wasn't there. And I was pretty sure that its chemistry score would be awful. Yet, the dog wasn't trotting off to the kirana store. He was only interested in figuring out a strategy for his next meal. And when he was full, he merely curled up in a corner with one eye open, clearly content and not giving a damn about the world. If he wasn't planning to die anytime soon what the hell was I ranting about? I threw the copper sulphate in the bin. It was the best two bucks I ever wasted.
So why did I tell you this story? Because sometimes the pressure gets too much; like it did for the IITian who couldn't take it no more. On the day he took that dreadful decision, his family and friends were shattered, and
If God wanted us to take our own life, he would have provided a power off button. He didn't, so have faith and let his plan for you unfold. Because no matter how tough life gets and how much it hurts, if street dogs don't give up, there is no reason why we, the smart species, should. Makes sense right?
Sunday, July 6, 2008
A view about life
A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor.
Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were eyeing each other's cups.
Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. Some times, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."
Don't let the cups drive you... Enjoy the coffee instead.
Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were eyeing each other's cups.
Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. Some times, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."
Don't let the cups drive you... Enjoy the coffee instead.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Understanding Engineers !!!
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She took one look at me, threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said to me, 'Take what you want' , so I did."
The second engineer nodded approvingly.
"Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE TWO
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE THREE
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE FOUR
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "Actually it must have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE SIX
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE SEVEN
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girl friend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Free Rice......Play the game and help millions....
Play this game online and feed millions:
An Internet game launched by United Nations World Food Programme six months ago has proved so popular that it has generated enough rice to feed 1.1 million people for a day.
The interactive vocabulary game allows a player 20 grains of rice for each correct answer. The money raised through advertising is used to underwrite rice donations.
Thus it allows children simultaneously to bolster their vocabularies and help feed world's hungry children. With between 3 lakh and 5 lakh people playing it daily, it has generated 21 billion grains of rice for WFP.
The first recipients of the website's aid were refugees from Myanmar taking shelter in Bangladesh. Ugandan school children and pregnant and nursing mothers in Cambodia were among other beneficiaries.
Next batch of rice will be distributed among Bhutanese refugees in Nepal.
"I never imagined that things would move this fast or that it would be such a success," said the game's creator, John Breen, an online fundraising pioneer from the United States.
"Quite apart from the actual amount of rice generated, FreeRice is a fantastic way of spreading the message about world hunger."
A new audio function lets players hear how words are pronounced, and Breen said a team of lexographers is working to expand the database of 10,000 words. To scale up the game's appeal to younger and non-native English speakers, visitors can now select the level of difficulty.
Teachers have voiced their appreciation for a vocabulary game that has the power to draw their students in, WFP said.
"You cannot imagine the joy in my heart when I look out and see 25 kids doing vocabulary homework and enjoying it," one teacher from California told the School Library Journal.
The appeal of the online game to children is such that freerice.com 'communities' have blossomed on social networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace.
"Wow this is so great! You prepare for English tests and help out others. My total count so far is 6,100 grains," a New York high school student said in a comment on Facebook.
please help UN to donate the rice by playing the game at :
http://freerice.com/index.php
An Internet game launched by United Nations World Food Programme six months ago has proved so popular that it has generated enough rice to feed 1.1 million people for a day.
The interactive vocabulary game allows a player 20 grains of rice for each correct answer. The money raised through advertising is used to underwrite rice donations.
Thus it allows children simultaneously to bolster their vocabularies and help feed world's hungry children. With between 3 lakh and 5 lakh people playing it daily, it has generated 21 billion grains of rice for WFP.
The first recipients of the website's aid were refugees from Myanmar taking shelter in Bangladesh. Ugandan school children and pregnant and nursing mothers in Cambodia were among other beneficiaries.
Next batch of rice will be distributed among Bhutanese refugees in Nepal.
"I never imagined that things would move this fast or that it would be such a success," said the game's creator, John Breen, an online fundraising pioneer from the United States.
"Quite apart from the actual amount of rice generated, FreeRice is a fantastic way of spreading the message about world hunger."
A new audio function lets players hear how words are pronounced, and Breen said a team of lexographers is working to expand the database of 10,000 words. To scale up the game's appeal to younger and non-native English speakers, visitors can now select the level of difficulty.
Teachers have voiced their appreciation for a vocabulary game that has the power to draw their students in, WFP said.
"You cannot imagine the joy in my heart when I look out and see 25 kids doing vocabulary homework and enjoying it," one teacher from California told the School Library Journal.
The appeal of the online game to children is such that freerice.com 'communities' have blossomed on social networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace.
"Wow this is so great! You prepare for English tests and help out others. My total count so far is 6,100 grains," a New York high school student said in a comment on Facebook.
please help UN to donate the rice by playing the game at :
http://freerice.com/index.php
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
The Great Paradox
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The onlyquestion asked was:
Would you please give your honest opinion aboutsolutions to the food shortage in the rest of theworld?
The survey was a huge failure, In Africa they didn'tknow what 'food' meant, In India they didn't knowwhat 'honest' meant, In Europe they didn't know what'shortage' meant, In China they didn't know what'opinion' meant, In the Middle East they didn't knowwhat 'solution' meant, In South America they didn'tknow what 'please' meant, And in the USA they didn'tknow what 'the rest of the world' meant!!!
The onlyquestion asked was:
Would you please give your honest opinion aboutsolutions to the food shortage in the rest of theworld?
The survey was a huge failure, In Africa they didn'tknow what 'food' meant, In India they didn't knowwhat 'honest' meant, In Europe they didn't know what'shortage' meant, In China they didn't know what'opinion' meant, In the Middle East they didn't knowwhat 'solution' meant, In South America they didn'tknow what 'please' meant, And in the USA they didn'tknow what 'the rest of the world' meant!!!
Satirical CAT - Part 2
Satire Part 2: Chat between 7 IIMs and a student on the final results getting delayed
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(A Student desperate to find out whether he is selected to the IIMs lands at one of the Institutes of Excellence. He wanders around the campus and luckily finds all directors of the 6 instis sitting and discussing something seriously.. Student enters..)
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers* apply.
Student (thanking his luck of meeting the 7 GODS together): Sir, Is the meeting going on over here related to the results which you have not yet declared?
(Student starts reciting the following in his mind: Guru Brahma, Guru Vishnu.. with the 'You don't meet Gods just like that' attitude}
IIM ABCLIK (in chorus) : Meeting? What meeting? We are chatting Beta.. Chatting is different. Meeting is different.
Student (wondering, with a tinge of frustration): How Sirs?
IIM A (Seriously): When we are chatting, we will all sit together in a big circle and start discussing about life in general. When we are in a meeting, we all meet and discuss.
IIM C (in a laid back tone to IIMA): Arey "A". Get a life yaar.. (and Smirks..)
(Guffaws all around.. IIM C starts explaining to student)
IIM C (Student listens intently): Beta.. The difference is this. When we are chatting we don't order biscuits, tea etc. We don't have note pads. We don't sit in a big oval desk in a nice AC room. All this are available in a meeting. However, whether we are chatting or in a meeting, we discuss the same stuff. Attrition rates among profs, who is going around with whom, the gossips and related stuff..
(Student, who has attempted CAT right from 6th standard and has finally got calls after 17 attempts, is not planning to give up now )
Student (disturbed, but again earnestly): Sir, But results.
IIM L (seriously): Are yaar. Newspaper ko dekho na. This generation of students na.. Yesterday Rajasthan Royals won by 6 wickets. Poor Punjab XI. Bahut aacha match tha beta.. Oh kaun thaa.. 76 runs liya..
IIM I (to him, again earnestly): Shane Warne, Shane Warne..
IIM K (Irritatingly) : Nahin yaar.. Shane Watson.
IIM L : Haan... Oh Shane watson.. Kitna achha batting tha.. (and was going to start discussing on his shots and how he played)
Student (interupts hurriedly ): Sir, Oh results nahin. I am not talking about cricket. I am asking about the IIM results for PGP 2008-10 batch.
IIM B (with the corporate honcho look): We don't comment on unnecessary speculation in the media.
(Proudly straightens his chest after making that intelligent speech. Cheers all round.)
Student (Innocently , once again): No Sir. Not media speculation. We spoke yesterday with your admissions committee junta. They told us results must be out any time.
(Happy with the smart answer he gave now , which he rarely gave during those personal interviews to questions ranging from Yield curve in India to Chanakya's Arthashashtra )
IIM B: What did they say? (with the same cunning smile as the smart Prof in IIMA PI who knew more about Electrical machines than us)
Student (earnestly): "That the results must be out any time."
IIM B (with the smart 'lawyer'ish attitude ): Exactly. I think he did not complete the statement fully. The result must be out "any time", Which means any time WE WISH. It can be today. It can be tomorrow. It can also be next week. It could have been last week. It can be anytime.. (And starts making a tune out of this..)
Student (again interrupting): But Sir. At IIM L, they told us that it would be out in a day or 2 and they have been saying the same thing for 3 days.
(Additional Info: Student got 99.79%ile in DI & LR. 'Hence' pretty strong with the 'logical reasoning' stuff )
IIM L (gets up from his afternoon nap knowing that his insti is being singled out and accused) : We don't have the habit of telling different things on different days, unlike some other esteemed instis (a hidden smirk..). We have a strong stand on this. We tell the same thing everyday.
(Doubly happy with the fact that he used the old 8th standard joke (which was rusting) and at the same time took a dig at his colleagues..
Student (now getting a bit angry): But Sir. This is not fair. There are so many students who are calling up and getting totally different info from each IIM. K is telling you will get it in 2 weeks, L is telling 2 minutes beta like maggi noodles ad and B is yet to receive the directive since they stopped postal service because they were in Silicon Valley. A, as usual, speaks for everyone else ........ (starts off rambling, the GD genes of his takes over..)
IIM A (V V seriously): See. This is done by the CAT committee.
Student : When was that set-up ?
IIM A: 2 minutes back. When you started asking me uninteresting questions.
(Silence for 2 minutes. Then a Huge uproar follows.. Student is in tears..)
(Meanwhile Student overhears IIM K whispering to IIM I: Yeh 'CAT committee' kya hai.. but chooses to ignore that piece lest his Blood pressure go up)
Student: Sir. Please tell (pleading). When are results coming out?
IIM B (out of sheer practice): We are yet to receive the HRD directive. The moment we receive it, result must be... (IIM K stops him telling that was the old reason! IIM B smiles sheepishly to the stern look from others)
IIM Shillong (in a fatherly way, much to the dismal of others): I can understand your concern child. But, to tell the truth, we just received the HRD directive and are going through it in detail.
Student (with happiness of finding his new found mentor): Oh. Thats great Sir. What are you going through in that now?
IIM S: About the salary hike for profs. You did not read that. The 200% hike. (Other profs stare at the new dude who was silent till now. IIM S gives the look of "I thought we were discussing about salaries" look and also the "I thought I made a good point in the GD after 15 minutes" look )
Student faints and falls flat on the ground... The student is admitted to the hospital and was finally heard muttering "results.. results.." before putting the oxygen breather upon him.. (Profs start discussing about the sweet Mrs. Robertza they met at the conference at Russia..)
*Standard Disclaimers (Seriously):
1. Any Instis name between ABCLIK can be replaced with any other. The alphabet out of the 6 which followed after "IIM" was random. IIM S was intentional.
2. Don't look at conversation logically. I did not intend to give it a logic.
3. I have great respect for the IIMs.
4. I also strongly believe "having great respect" does not mean "should not criticize". Both are independent events.
5. Discount Grammar mistakes.
Note to Loyalists:
Please don't post telling "IIMs work under so many constraints.. and the standard Yada Yada Darmashya...". Many here understand that. I also agree to that. But still I disagree to the way things are being done.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(A Student desperate to find out whether he is selected to the IIMs lands at one of the Institutes of Excellence. He wanders around the campus and luckily finds all directors of the 6 instis sitting and discussing something seriously.. Student enters..)
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers* apply.
Student (thanking his luck of meeting the 7 GODS together): Sir, Is the meeting going on over here related to the results which you have not yet declared?
(Student starts reciting the following in his mind: Guru Brahma, Guru Vishnu.. with the 'You don't meet Gods just like that' attitude}
IIM ABCLIK (in chorus) : Meeting? What meeting? We are chatting Beta.. Chatting is different. Meeting is different.
Student (wondering, with a tinge of frustration): How Sirs?
IIM A (Seriously): When we are chatting, we will all sit together in a big circle and start discussing about life in general. When we are in a meeting, we all meet and discuss.
IIM C (in a laid back tone to IIMA): Arey "A". Get a life yaar.. (and Smirks..)
(Guffaws all around.. IIM C starts explaining to student)
IIM C (Student listens intently): Beta.. The difference is this. When we are chatting we don't order biscuits, tea etc. We don't have note pads. We don't sit in a big oval desk in a nice AC room. All this are available in a meeting. However, whether we are chatting or in a meeting, we discuss the same stuff. Attrition rates among profs, who is going around with whom, the gossips and related stuff..
(Student, who has attempted CAT right from 6th standard and has finally got calls after 17 attempts, is not planning to give up now )
Student (disturbed, but again earnestly): Sir, But results.
IIM L (seriously): Are yaar. Newspaper ko dekho na. This generation of students na.. Yesterday Rajasthan Royals won by 6 wickets. Poor Punjab XI. Bahut aacha match tha beta.. Oh kaun thaa.. 76 runs liya..
IIM I (to him, again earnestly): Shane Warne, Shane Warne..
IIM K (Irritatingly) : Nahin yaar.. Shane Watson.
IIM L : Haan... Oh Shane watson.. Kitna achha batting tha.. (and was going to start discussing on his shots and how he played)
Student (interupts hurriedly ): Sir, Oh results nahin. I am not talking about cricket. I am asking about the IIM results for PGP 2008-10 batch.
IIM B (with the corporate honcho look): We don't comment on unnecessary speculation in the media.
(Proudly straightens his chest after making that intelligent speech. Cheers all round.)
Student (Innocently , once again): No Sir. Not media speculation. We spoke yesterday with your admissions committee junta. They told us results must be out any time.
(Happy with the smart answer he gave now , which he rarely gave during those personal interviews to questions ranging from Yield curve in India to Chanakya's Arthashashtra )
IIM B: What did they say? (with the same cunning smile as the smart Prof in IIMA PI who knew more about Electrical machines than us)
Student (earnestly): "That the results must be out any time."
IIM B (with the smart 'lawyer'ish attitude ): Exactly. I think he did not complete the statement fully. The result must be out "any time", Which means any time WE WISH. It can be today. It can be tomorrow. It can also be next week. It could have been last week. It can be anytime.. (And starts making a tune out of this..)
Student (again interrupting): But Sir. At IIM L, they told us that it would be out in a day or 2 and they have been saying the same thing for 3 days.
(Additional Info: Student got 99.79%ile in DI & LR. 'Hence' pretty strong with the 'logical reasoning' stuff )
IIM L (gets up from his afternoon nap knowing that his insti is being singled out and accused) : We don't have the habit of telling different things on different days, unlike some other esteemed instis (a hidden smirk..). We have a strong stand on this. We tell the same thing everyday.
(Doubly happy with the fact that he used the old 8th standard joke (which was rusting) and at the same time took a dig at his colleagues..
Student (now getting a bit angry): But Sir. This is not fair. There are so many students who are calling up and getting totally different info from each IIM. K is telling you will get it in 2 weeks, L is telling 2 minutes beta like maggi noodles ad and B is yet to receive the directive since they stopped postal service because they were in Silicon Valley. A, as usual, speaks for everyone else ........ (starts off rambling, the GD genes of his takes over..)
IIM A (V V seriously): See. This is done by the CAT committee.
Student : When was that set-up ?
IIM A: 2 minutes back. When you started asking me uninteresting questions.
(Silence for 2 minutes. Then a Huge uproar follows.. Student is in tears..)
(Meanwhile Student overhears IIM K whispering to IIM I: Yeh 'CAT committee' kya hai.. but chooses to ignore that piece lest his Blood pressure go up)
Student: Sir. Please tell (pleading). When are results coming out?
IIM B (out of sheer practice): We are yet to receive the HRD directive. The moment we receive it, result must be... (IIM K stops him telling that was the old reason! IIM B smiles sheepishly to the stern look from others)
IIM Shillong (in a fatherly way, much to the dismal of others): I can understand your concern child. But, to tell the truth, we just received the HRD directive and are going through it in detail.
Student (with happiness of finding his new found mentor): Oh. Thats great Sir. What are you going through in that now?
IIM S: About the salary hike for profs. You did not read that. The 200% hike. (Other profs stare at the new dude who was silent till now. IIM S gives the look of "I thought we were discussing about salaries" look and also the "I thought I made a good point in the GD after 15 minutes" look )
Student faints and falls flat on the ground... The student is admitted to the hospital and was finally heard muttering "results.. results.." before putting the oxygen breather upon him.. (Profs start discussing about the sweet Mrs. Robertza they met at the conference at Russia..)
*Standard Disclaimers (Seriously):
1. Any Instis name between ABCLIK can be replaced with any other. The alphabet out of the 6 which followed after "IIM" was random. IIM S was intentional.
2. Don't look at conversation logically. I did not intend to give it a logic.
3. I have great respect for the IIMs.
4. I also strongly believe "having great respect" does not mean "should not criticize". Both are independent events.
5. Discount Grammar mistakes.
Note to Loyalists:
Please don't post telling "IIMs work under so many constraints.. and the standard Yada Yada Darmashya...". Many here understand that. I also agree to that. But still I disagree to the way things are being done.
Satirical CAT..................
Chat between two serious IIM aspirants and the elusive CAT/IIMs (Satire)
----------------------------------------------------------------
My own creation when I was in a lighter mood.
All those who got calls, dont read this. You may not enjoy it.
Obviously this must be read in a lighter vein.
Chat between two serious CAT aspirants and the elusive CAT/IIMs
Student 1 : Dear Sir. I have got 99.33, 99.72 in 2 sections and a 99.84 overall, but only 95.32 in the other section . Can i get a call, Dear CAT, from IIMA.
CAT/IIMA : What????, IIMA Call?. Dont you see you are not competent enough to cope up with the rigorous 2 year course we conduct here. Had you scored 0.02 %ile more you could have proved yourself to be competent enough to pursure a course and joined the ranks of MS Banga and Harsha Bogle. With a poor 95.32%ile in one section, All i can tell you is plz study more.
Student 1 : Sir, How about the chances from IIMB.
CAT/IIMB : Ha ha ha ha ha.. IIMB.. ha ha ha.. (Gearing up itself somehow to answer the question).. Fine.. I will anyway try to answer your question.. I need a few more details to answer your question anyway.. like..
1) What is your Date of Birth. It must fall between May 14th and Dec22nd. Else doubtful. Lets see. There are some rare cases who get thru with some lineancy in that. Anyway. Best of Luck on that.
2) 10th scores and the State you did it from and also, whether you have scored more than 83.11 % in that
3) 12th scores and the State you did it from and also, whether you have scored more than 86.76 % in that
4) Work-ex. Just the number of months would do fine. You need not tell whether you did it Microsoft, Google or Kandasamy mudaliar Textile mill at chittoor.. It does not matter much. We need diversity, you know. We also dont like differentiating between people based on illogical data like this.
5) CAT %ile. Now, wait. This is thr trickiest part. We are still awaiting the results from Las Vegas Casinos were our profs are playing. They are yet to finish the game. Prof X (who has a bet on keeping VA cut-off at 88.32%ile) is losing badly. He needs to improve on his casino skills. Prof Y is winning the game. He had pegged it at 96.32%ile. lets see.. Last year Prof Z won hands down with a 85%ile in DI. A few bugging students sneaked into our institute thru that. Lets see how many more get lucky this year. But lemme say guys, Its fun. Casinos are fun. The above rules are very well applicable for other IIMs too, though some lineancy maybe allowed.
Student 1: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Somehow composing himself to ask the next question)
Student 1: But Sir, almost none of these can be changed by me now. I dont have any control over it at this stage of my life.
CAT : Obviously. You cant change. And thats what we love the most. You have absolutely no control over your destiny. We control it. You heard it right? Anyway.. We do have a backdoor entry. If you score 99.95+ in all three sections and a 99.98+ overall, you may be exempted from all this. But again, its a "maybe". So please dont have high hopes. Lets see.
Student 2: Sir, I have scored 99.81 overall and a 99.96 in quants, 99.14 in verbal but a 78.17 in DI coz of a bad day. I have received no calls from none of the IIMs till now. But I have good work-ex, can very well think logically and am suited to do an MBA from the top IIMs. I can obviously handle the rigour.
CAT : ROTFL.. My God! a 78.17 in DI.. Do these profs release these types of below average percentiles too. Yuck! I never knew anyone can get a 78.17 in DI. pretty surprising. And were you talking about calls from the IIMs. First you need to explain to them what a 78.17 means.
Student 2: But sir a 99.96 in quants and a 99.81 overall and a 99.14 in VA. Does that not look attractive enough to study at IIMs ABCLI?
CAT : Sorry.. I could not hear properly.. What did you tell your score was in DI?
Student 2 (losing his cool ): WTF. WTF do you want to know. I got a f'in 78.17 in DI and finally all you buggers decided I am incompetent to think logically. You decide that since I could not crack one more set in DI, I am not fit for management. Blah Blah Blah..
CAT : Beta.. Tension mat le.. See. I will let you out one trade secret. We ourselves are pretty confused in how to eliminate people. Its a nice game with us and the computer. We keep changing one variable or the other till the calls for each instis touches the required number. In fact how to predict the right nos so that we can give results in 3 weeks itself is now a casestudy at IIMA.
Student 2 (stammering to ask the next question) : But sir.. You will be losing out on lots of good students coz of this.
CAT : So?
Student 2: "So?".. What question was that? I told, you will be losing out on a few deserving students, some who may have got 97%ile or 95%ile overall but for whom an MBA would suit much well in their career goals.
CAT : Career goals..? What is that. I never knew our guys here talk about that. We know numbers. Talk numbers to us. and only numbers. Nothing else matters. And better if the nos are higher.
Stdeunt 1 : Ok. Lets talk Numbers. You have given calls to some students with overall 97.5 %ile too but not someone with a 99.75%ile. How does it work.
CAT : Oh, You guys figured it out huh.. These youngsters are smart nowadays. Anyway, promise you wont tell it to anyone.
Student 1: Promise Sir.
CAT : I believe you. When we were working seriously on Dec 30th, that bugging programmer had boozed a bit. Instead of typing 98.75%ile, he typed 97.5%ile in the computer program and some buggers may have sneaked in. Dont worry. We will take care of them in the interview.
Student 1: But sir,He may actually be a good candidate.
CAT : How can he be a good candidate. He got 97.5%ile overall.
Student 2 (butting in ): Oh Man:bad-word:! Did dhirubhai score a 99.5, did lakshmi nivas mittal score a 99.5.. did..
CAT : Stop, Stop.. Why should they score.. We dont create people like them. We create people who can work for them.
Student 1: Sir. We are speechless. Anyway.. We have a question and a suggestion. question first. How come IIM A/B/C have called a candidate who may have 97+ sectionals and 99+ overall but not IIM L/I/K.
CAT : Hmmm.. Thats a very good question. What happened was these 3 IIMs wanted to show to the outside world that they are unique. Hence they chose a different casino this time and played a different game amongst themselves. Mebbe cut-off changed coz of that. And what Suggestion? We dont like suggestions.
Student 1: Plz listen once.
CAT : We listening to others. He he.. Proceed.
Student 1 : Why cant you select people the way International B SChools do by finding out more about the personal characteristics of the student so that you can find whether he is better suited for management rather than just depending on nos.
CAT : Personal characteristics.. You mean height, weight, hip size etc..? We were thinking about it in 1997 but..
Student 2 : No No.. (In horror and controlling his temper).. We mean his aptitude do to management, his potential, his passion, his career goals, how an MBA from IIM will help him.. etc. In those lines..
CAT : Are you serious. We cant read the applications of 191,000 buggers. then we have to conduct CAT'07 for batch 2012. You are absolutely illogical. No wonder you scored a below average percentile in logical reasoning. Ha ha ha.
Student 2: (You #$^%^%*& ). You somehow got the point though not exactly. conducting CAT'07 for CAT'12 batch. We advice CAT to be designed in the lines of GMAT which has 5 years validity and is standardized.
CAT : OMG! That means our annual profs trip to Las vegas will be cancelled. I dont think they will agree to your suggestion. And what is the crap about 5 year validity. How can the intelligence of a person not change in 5 years. We believe it will change every year, in fact every week also if CAT is conducted so often.
Student 2: CAT is supposed to test Aptitude and not intelligence and aptitude will not change much in 5 years. It will benefit the student community immensely since they can give CAT in the final year, concentrate on their careers and then join MBA after 3-4 years after understanding business and corporate life. They can also concentrate on extra curriculaars etc. Because of CAT, the career of many people is jeopardized and none of the serious working CAT takers know what Extracurriculars is.
CAT : Agreed. But what about the Las vegas trip?
Student 1 and 2: Fainted.
CAT (gets a phone call) : Are Bhatta bhai. kahan hai tu.. Still playing at the casinos? You guys have real fun time.. So who won the game and whats the cut-off for QA this year.. What.. 89.11 ile huh.. Who won the game.. Ok.. Visit the miami beach.. (and he walks off speaking)
Cheers,
Sudeep
----------------------------------------------------------------
My own creation when I was in a lighter mood.
All those who got calls, dont read this. You may not enjoy it.
Obviously this must be read in a lighter vein.
Chat between two serious CAT aspirants and the elusive CAT/IIMs
Student 1 : Dear Sir. I have got 99.33, 99.72 in 2 sections and a 99.84 overall, but only 95.32 in the other section . Can i get a call, Dear CAT, from IIMA.
CAT/IIMA : What????, IIMA Call?. Dont you see you are not competent enough to cope up with the rigorous 2 year course we conduct here. Had you scored 0.02 %ile more you could have proved yourself to be competent enough to pursure a course and joined the ranks of MS Banga and Harsha Bogle. With a poor 95.32%ile in one section, All i can tell you is plz study more.
Student 1 : Sir, How about the chances from IIMB.
CAT/IIMB : Ha ha ha ha ha.. IIMB.. ha ha ha.. (Gearing up itself somehow to answer the question).. Fine.. I will anyway try to answer your question.. I need a few more details to answer your question anyway.. like..
1) What is your Date of Birth. It must fall between May 14th and Dec22nd. Else doubtful. Lets see. There are some rare cases who get thru with some lineancy in that. Anyway. Best of Luck on that.
2) 10th scores and the State you did it from and also, whether you have scored more than 83.11 % in that
3) 12th scores and the State you did it from and also, whether you have scored more than 86.76 % in that
4) Work-ex. Just the number of months would do fine. You need not tell whether you did it Microsoft, Google or Kandasamy mudaliar Textile mill at chittoor.. It does not matter much. We need diversity, you know. We also dont like differentiating between people based on illogical data like this.
5) CAT %ile. Now, wait. This is thr trickiest part. We are still awaiting the results from Las Vegas Casinos were our profs are playing. They are yet to finish the game. Prof X (who has a bet on keeping VA cut-off at 88.32%ile) is losing badly. He needs to improve on his casino skills. Prof Y is winning the game. He had pegged it at 96.32%ile. lets see.. Last year Prof Z won hands down with a 85%ile in DI. A few bugging students sneaked into our institute thru that. Lets see how many more get lucky this year. But lemme say guys, Its fun. Casinos are fun. The above rules are very well applicable for other IIMs too, though some lineancy maybe allowed.
Student 1: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Somehow composing himself to ask the next question)
Student 1: But Sir, almost none of these can be changed by me now. I dont have any control over it at this stage of my life.
CAT : Obviously. You cant change. And thats what we love the most. You have absolutely no control over your destiny. We control it. You heard it right? Anyway.. We do have a backdoor entry. If you score 99.95+ in all three sections and a 99.98+ overall, you may be exempted from all this. But again, its a "maybe". So please dont have high hopes. Lets see.
Student 2: Sir, I have scored 99.81 overall and a 99.96 in quants, 99.14 in verbal but a 78.17 in DI coz of a bad day. I have received no calls from none of the IIMs till now. But I have good work-ex, can very well think logically and am suited to do an MBA from the top IIMs. I can obviously handle the rigour.
CAT : ROTFL.. My God! a 78.17 in DI.. Do these profs release these types of below average percentiles too. Yuck! I never knew anyone can get a 78.17 in DI. pretty surprising. And were you talking about calls from the IIMs. First you need to explain to them what a 78.17 means.
Student 2: But sir a 99.96 in quants and a 99.81 overall and a 99.14 in VA. Does that not look attractive enough to study at IIMs ABCLI?
CAT : Sorry.. I could not hear properly.. What did you tell your score was in DI?
Student 2 (losing his cool ): WTF. WTF do you want to know. I got a f'in 78.17 in DI and finally all you buggers decided I am incompetent to think logically. You decide that since I could not crack one more set in DI, I am not fit for management. Blah Blah Blah..
CAT : Beta.. Tension mat le.. See. I will let you out one trade secret. We ourselves are pretty confused in how to eliminate people. Its a nice game with us and the computer. We keep changing one variable or the other till the calls for each instis touches the required number. In fact how to predict the right nos so that we can give results in 3 weeks itself is now a casestudy at IIMA.
Student 2 (stammering to ask the next question) : But sir.. You will be losing out on lots of good students coz of this.
CAT : So?
Student 2: "So?".. What question was that? I told, you will be losing out on a few deserving students, some who may have got 97%ile or 95%ile overall but for whom an MBA would suit much well in their career goals.
CAT : Career goals..? What is that. I never knew our guys here talk about that. We know numbers. Talk numbers to us. and only numbers. Nothing else matters. And better if the nos are higher.
Stdeunt 1 : Ok. Lets talk Numbers. You have given calls to some students with overall 97.5 %ile too but not someone with a 99.75%ile. How does it work.
CAT : Oh, You guys figured it out huh.. These youngsters are smart nowadays. Anyway, promise you wont tell it to anyone.
Student 1: Promise Sir.
CAT : I believe you. When we were working seriously on Dec 30th, that bugging programmer had boozed a bit. Instead of typing 98.75%ile, he typed 97.5%ile in the computer program and some buggers may have sneaked in. Dont worry. We will take care of them in the interview.
Student 1: But sir,He may actually be a good candidate.
CAT : How can he be a good candidate. He got 97.5%ile overall.
Student 2 (butting in ): Oh Man:bad-word:! Did dhirubhai score a 99.5, did lakshmi nivas mittal score a 99.5.. did..
CAT : Stop, Stop.. Why should they score.. We dont create people like them. We create people who can work for them.
Student 1: Sir. We are speechless. Anyway.. We have a question and a suggestion. question first. How come IIM A/B/C have called a candidate who may have 97+ sectionals and 99+ overall but not IIM L/I/K.
CAT : Hmmm.. Thats a very good question. What happened was these 3 IIMs wanted to show to the outside world that they are unique. Hence they chose a different casino this time and played a different game amongst themselves. Mebbe cut-off changed coz of that. And what Suggestion? We dont like suggestions.
Student 1: Plz listen once.
CAT : We listening to others. He he.. Proceed.
Student 1 : Why cant you select people the way International B SChools do by finding out more about the personal characteristics of the student so that you can find whether he is better suited for management rather than just depending on nos.
CAT : Personal characteristics.. You mean height, weight, hip size etc..? We were thinking about it in 1997 but..
Student 2 : No No.. (In horror and controlling his temper).. We mean his aptitude do to management, his potential, his passion, his career goals, how an MBA from IIM will help him.. etc. In those lines..
CAT : Are you serious. We cant read the applications of 191,000 buggers. then we have to conduct CAT'07 for batch 2012. You are absolutely illogical. No wonder you scored a below average percentile in logical reasoning. Ha ha ha.
Student 2: (You #$^%^%*& ). You somehow got the point though not exactly. conducting CAT'07 for CAT'12 batch. We advice CAT to be designed in the lines of GMAT which has 5 years validity and is standardized.
CAT : OMG! That means our annual profs trip to Las vegas will be cancelled. I dont think they will agree to your suggestion. And what is the crap about 5 year validity. How can the intelligence of a person not change in 5 years. We believe it will change every year, in fact every week also if CAT is conducted so often.
Student 2: CAT is supposed to test Aptitude and not intelligence and aptitude will not change much in 5 years. It will benefit the student community immensely since they can give CAT in the final year, concentrate on their careers and then join MBA after 3-4 years after understanding business and corporate life. They can also concentrate on extra curriculaars etc. Because of CAT, the career of many people is jeopardized and none of the serious working CAT takers know what Extracurriculars is.
CAT : Agreed. But what about the Las vegas trip?
Student 1 and 2: Fainted.
CAT (gets a phone call) : Are Bhatta bhai. kahan hai tu.. Still playing at the casinos? You guys have real fun time.. So who won the game and whats the cut-off for QA this year.. What.. 89.11 ile huh.. Who won the game.. Ok.. Visit the miami beach.. (and he walks off speaking)
Cheers,
Sudeep
Friday, March 21, 2008
Indian Reality!!!!
Ant & Grasshopper The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter ,the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
Indian Version
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house. Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter. Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper. The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance). Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry. CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers. Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath '. Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter. Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation ' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services. The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes,it's home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV. Arundhati Roy calls it ' A Triumph of Justice'. Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice '. CPM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden ' Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly . Many years later... The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley . 100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India ...
As a result of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the Grasshoppers, India is still a developing country !!!
It's time to wake up and start doing something in this matter otherwise it will be too late......
Indian Version
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house. Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter. Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper. The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance). Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry. CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers. Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath '. Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter. Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation ' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services. The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes,it's home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV. Arundhati Roy calls it ' A Triumph of Justice'. Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice '. CPM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden ' Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly . Many years later... The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley . 100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India ...
As a result of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the Grasshoppers, India is still a developing country !!!
It's time to wake up and start doing something in this matter otherwise it will be too late......
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Nice Story..
A great note for all to read it will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking.
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man wasallowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain thefluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room 's only window. Theother man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, theirjobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, hewould pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he couldsee outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of theworld outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played onthe water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked armin arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skylinecould be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man onthe other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn 't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind ' s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptivewords.
Days and weeks passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only tofind the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take thebody away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be movednext to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and aftermaking sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his firstlook at the real world outside.He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."
Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can' t buy.
"Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present.Enjoy it.Live life to the fullest."
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man wasallowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain thefluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room 's only window. Theother man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, theirjobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, hewould pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he couldsee outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of theworld outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played onthe water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked armin arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skylinecould be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man onthe other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn 't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind ' s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptivewords.
Days and weeks passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only tofind the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take thebody away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be movednext to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and aftermaking sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his firstlook at the real world outside.He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."
Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can' t buy.
"Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present.Enjoy it.Live life to the fullest."
Safe Holi.................
Let's all pledge to generate awareness about the various harmful effects around Holi Celebrations and celebrate an Eco-Friendly Holi this year. Here's how we can do so.....
ECO-FRIENDLY HOLI
Harmful Effects of Chemical Colors In earlier times, when festival celebrations were not so much commercialized, Holi colors were prepared from the flowers of trees that blossomed during spring, such as the Indian Coral Tree (Parijat) and the Flame of the Forest (Palash), both of which have bright red flowers. These and several other blossoms provided the raw material from which the brilliant shades of Holi colors were made. Most of these trees also had medicinal properties and Holi colors prepared from them were actually beneficial to the skin.
Over the years, with the disappearance of trees in urban areas and greater stress for higher profits these natural colors came to be replaced by industrial dyes manufactured through chemical processes. Around 2001, two environmental groups based in Delhi, did a study on all the three available categories of colors available in the market — pastes, dry colors and water colors. The study revealed that all of these three forms of chemical Holi colors are hazardous.
Harmful Chemicals in Holi Colors According to their researched fact sheet on Holi, the paste and powder colors contain very toxic chemicals that can have severe health effects. Danger of Wet Holi Colors Wet colors, mostly, use Gentian violet as a color concentrate which can cause skin discoloration and dermatitis.
The Holi Bonfire Burning of fuel wood to create the bonfire for Holika Dahan presents another serious environmental problem. Many groups are now advocating one symbolic community fire, rather than several smaller bonfires across the city as a way to reduce wood consumption. Others are also suggesting that these fires be lit using waste material rather than wood.
Holi Safety Tips Some Tips & Suggestions to make our Holi Safe & Joyous:
The best option would be to play with natural homemade colors. Our skin and hair will feel pampered with the use of skin friendly natural products. If natural colors are not possible, then ensure a better quality of colors. Buy colors from a reputed shop or vendor. Make sure that the face is well creamed before and after the play. Apply thick coating of nail paint on the nails - both fingers and toes so that they remain protected. Oil the hair well so that the color doesn’t stick on your hair and can be washed off easily later. If you are prone to skin allergies, avoid playing with Gulal altogether. Going to a dermatologist (skin specialist) serves no purpose, after the damage is done.
Natural Homemade Colors:
1) Mix Turmeric powder in water to get bright yellow color water or use turmeric powder as dry yellow color powder.
2) Mix Neel (used for whitening clothes) with talcum powder to get blue color powder Mix powdered Rakta Chandan in water to get red color water.
3) Mix Turmeric powder and Katha to get orange color water.
4) Mix Mehendi powder in water & strain it to get orange color water.
5) Soak Palash Flowers (called Flame of the Forest Flowers) overnight in water to get bright red color water.
6) Boil Beetroot in water to get bright red color water.
7) Boil Palak leaves in water to get bright green color water.
8) Soak Rose/Kewra flowers in water to get colorless but fragrant water
ECO-FRIENDLY HOLI
Harmful Effects of Chemical Colors In earlier times, when festival celebrations were not so much commercialized, Holi colors were prepared from the flowers of trees that blossomed during spring, such as the Indian Coral Tree (Parijat) and the Flame of the Forest (Palash), both of which have bright red flowers. These and several other blossoms provided the raw material from which the brilliant shades of Holi colors were made. Most of these trees also had medicinal properties and Holi colors prepared from them were actually beneficial to the skin.
Over the years, with the disappearance of trees in urban areas and greater stress for higher profits these natural colors came to be replaced by industrial dyes manufactured through chemical processes. Around 2001, two environmental groups based in Delhi, did a study on all the three available categories of colors available in the market — pastes, dry colors and water colors. The study revealed that all of these three forms of chemical Holi colors are hazardous.
Harmful Chemicals in Holi Colors According to their researched fact sheet on Holi, the paste and powder colors contain very toxic chemicals that can have severe health effects. Danger of Wet Holi Colors Wet colors, mostly, use Gentian violet as a color concentrate which can cause skin discoloration and dermatitis.
The Holi Bonfire Burning of fuel wood to create the bonfire for Holika Dahan presents another serious environmental problem. Many groups are now advocating one symbolic community fire, rather than several smaller bonfires across the city as a way to reduce wood consumption. Others are also suggesting that these fires be lit using waste material rather than wood.
Holi Safety Tips Some Tips & Suggestions to make our Holi Safe & Joyous:
The best option would be to play with natural homemade colors. Our skin and hair will feel pampered with the use of skin friendly natural products. If natural colors are not possible, then ensure a better quality of colors. Buy colors from a reputed shop or vendor. Make sure that the face is well creamed before and after the play. Apply thick coating of nail paint on the nails - both fingers and toes so that they remain protected. Oil the hair well so that the color doesn’t stick on your hair and can be washed off easily later. If you are prone to skin allergies, avoid playing with Gulal altogether. Going to a dermatologist (skin specialist) serves no purpose, after the damage is done.
Natural Homemade Colors:
1) Mix Turmeric powder in water to get bright yellow color water or use turmeric powder as dry yellow color powder.
2) Mix Neel (used for whitening clothes) with talcum powder to get blue color powder Mix powdered Rakta Chandan in water to get red color water.
3) Mix Turmeric powder and Katha to get orange color water.
4) Mix Mehendi powder in water & strain it to get orange color water.
5) Soak Palash Flowers (called Flame of the Forest Flowers) overnight in water to get bright red color water.
6) Boil Beetroot in water to get bright red color water.
7) Boil Palak leaves in water to get bright green color water.
8) Soak Rose/Kewra flowers in water to get colorless but fragrant water
Let There be Light...
HIV Knowledge
Its good to be well informed about HIV. There was a story on junk somedays back where it is said that a boy got infected by HIV virus byeating pani-puri. And there have also been rumors where people are affected by the HIV virus when they got pricked by an HIV infected needle in theaters which is rubbish.So read along!
I have seen this below mentioned mail floating across group email & I feel its my moral responsibility to correct all misconceptionsregarding HIV /AIDS.I asked my friend mayank who is serving as Brand Manager (Product Manager) handling anti HIV/AIDS portfolio (called asAntiretroviral Drugs) in Ranbaxy to help me to spread awareness about aids and clear the misconceptions about it.This what he has to say.
1) HIV (virus) requires ONLY Blood or Semen as medium to transmit from one body to another.
2) HIV cannot transmit even through Saliva(mucous) i.e . even if HIV-infected patient coughs or smooches and another person is exposedto his sputum (cough) or saliva, the virus still can not transmit because concentration of virus particles in sputum is almost NIL & exposure to air anyway kills virus in fraction of seconds.
3) In case an HIV-infected person gets an injury (like the cut in below mentioned story) and he is bleeding, the virus can transmit toanother person only if another person has a cut/wound in his body & that too when blood from both person comes in contact with each other (this is also very very rare unless bleeding is very high) and not otherwise.
4) HIV can never survive in any other liquid medium also other than blood or semen (& please for God sake ... never in Pani Puri wala pani).
5) Even if one drinks an HIV infected blood (or semen) of someone (ingest through Gastro Intestinal track), the virus can not survive intheacidic pH of stomach. Highest extent of acidity is 0 (practically not possible) so imagine 1 as pH which is in our stomach. (This pH can burn your own finger in less than a second if you dip in that acid).
6) Exposure of less than 1 second in AIR KILLS the HIV virus( hence story of needle pricks in Cinema theatres is a crap). Even if bloodfrom a wound (of infected person) dries up (blood clot), the virus dies and can not infect anyone else.
7) HIV transmission is ONLY an INFECTION i.e.entrance of virus in one's body. It DOES NOT MEAN AIDS.
8) An HIV-infected person (after entrance of virus) can progress to a condition of AIDS only after 8 to 10 YEARS (not in 15 days as in thePani Puri story).
9) It is not HIV (virus) that kills a human.....the virus attacks immune cells (cells that fight against foreign pathogens/antigens) andhence a person's ability to fight against infections & diseases slowly diminishes and person ultimately dies of a disease which could be assimple as TB.
10) Most importantly, HIV is no longer a dreadful disease ... it is "*CHRONIC MANAGEABLE DISEASE*" just like Diabetes or Hypertension.
11) If there is anything you need to be careful from to prevent HIV is Unsafe sex, Blood transfusion (check before taking) /Blood donation(use sterilized needles only) and any blood contact during an accident or so where amount of bleeding is very high.
PLZ O PLZ spread this message to avoid rumors and to educate people
Its good to be well informed about HIV. There was a story on junk somedays back where it is said that a boy got infected by HIV virus byeating pani-puri. And there have also been rumors where people are affected by the HIV virus when they got pricked by an HIV infected needle in theaters which is rubbish.So read along!
I have seen this below mentioned mail floating across group email & I feel its my moral responsibility to correct all misconceptionsregarding HIV /AIDS.I asked my friend mayank who is serving as Brand Manager (Product Manager) handling anti HIV/AIDS portfolio (called asAntiretroviral Drugs) in Ranbaxy to help me to spread awareness about aids and clear the misconceptions about it.This what he has to say.
1) HIV (virus) requires ONLY Blood or Semen as medium to transmit from one body to another.
2) HIV cannot transmit even through Saliva(mucous) i.e . even if HIV-infected patient coughs or smooches and another person is exposedto his sputum (cough) or saliva, the virus still can not transmit because concentration of virus particles in sputum is almost NIL & exposure to air anyway kills virus in fraction of seconds.
3) In case an HIV-infected person gets an injury (like the cut in below mentioned story) and he is bleeding, the virus can transmit toanother person only if another person has a cut/wound in his body & that too when blood from both person comes in contact with each other (this is also very very rare unless bleeding is very high) and not otherwise.
4) HIV can never survive in any other liquid medium also other than blood or semen (& please for God sake ... never in Pani Puri wala pani).
5) Even if one drinks an HIV infected blood (or semen) of someone (ingest through Gastro Intestinal track), the virus can not survive intheacidic pH of stomach. Highest extent of acidity is 0 (practically not possible) so imagine 1 as pH which is in our stomach. (This pH can burn your own finger in less than a second if you dip in that acid).
6) Exposure of less than 1 second in AIR KILLS the HIV virus( hence story of needle pricks in Cinema theatres is a crap). Even if bloodfrom a wound (of infected person) dries up (blood clot), the virus dies and can not infect anyone else.
7) HIV transmission is ONLY an INFECTION i.e.entrance of virus in one's body. It DOES NOT MEAN AIDS.
8) An HIV-infected person (after entrance of virus) can progress to a condition of AIDS only after 8 to 10 YEARS (not in 15 days as in thePani Puri story).
9) It is not HIV (virus) that kills a human.....the virus attacks immune cells (cells that fight against foreign pathogens/antigens) andhence a person's ability to fight against infections & diseases slowly diminishes and person ultimately dies of a disease which could be assimple as TB.
10) Most importantly, HIV is no longer a dreadful disease ... it is "*CHRONIC MANAGEABLE DISEASE*" just like Diabetes or Hypertension.
11) If there is anything you need to be careful from to prevent HIV is Unsafe sex, Blood transfusion (check before taking) /Blood donation(use sterilized needles only) and any blood contact during an accident or so where amount of bleeding is very high.
PLZ O PLZ spread this message to avoid rumors and to educate people
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